Undoing: Spiritual Detox Interactive Journal Testimony

(Late Entry) IT’S TESTIMONY TUESDAY AT 4HOPE HAVEN!! And this week’s testimony comes from our founder, Dr. Mahalian Boykin, sharing her testimony behind her journal, UNDOING: Spiritual Detox.

Journal writing has always been a therapeutic process for me. I remember writing my first journal entry in the 6th grade, in the form of poetry. I recall having a crush on a particular boy and how my insecurities made me feel like it wasn’t possible for the feelings to be mutual. I didn’t know how to express the “phantom disappointment”, so I wrote a poem. I felt a sense of release, like all of the insecure feelings I felt at that time melted away. This is when my passion for writing began. One of my friends and I entered a poetry writing contest and won. That win fueled the passion even more. Now, as a 44 year old woman, this passion has grown even more and continues to be fueled by the results of the process. Journal writing became my natural high.

In 2020, I was struggling real bad with insecurities, depression, and anxiety. I was tired. I was overwhelmed. I was looking for a solution. And I tried almost everything, except for what works. I backed away from the church, not intentionally, nonetheless I backed away. I needed to sleep in. I needed to take some “me time”. I made excuses; not realizing that that’s where I needed to be the entire time. My biggest vice became traveling. Traveling allowed me to run away from the problems I had in Huntsville. The burden was non-existent if I removed myself from the environment, because silly me thought that these problems were external problems. I thought they were problems I could just take off, like a jacket. The problem was, as soon as I saw that Huntsville exit sign on I-65 or heard the pilot announce our arrival into Huntsville, AL, the literal weight of each of my “problems” would jump back onto my shoulders, back, and in my head, like a jacket. The anxiety and depression was waiting for me like they were excited to see me.

Fast forward two years to November 2022. I was preparing to travel to Mobile, AL for a conference. As usual, I packed my journal and laptop. While I was driving, I heard the Holy Spirit say, “use this time to detox”. I knew I was riding alone so the voice kind of threw me off. When I realized what it was, my response was “okay”. As I drove, God deposited the steps I needed to take in this detox process. One of those steps was to read back over the journal entries I had written over the last 2 years. I was blown away by the picture that it painted. Full of tears, sickness, disappointment, unhealthy decision making, poor coping mechanisms, and withdrawal. It was no wonder I was so weighed down. My spirit was filled with a lot of toxic stuff that I ingested mentally, physically, and spiritually.

God knew what I needed. He knew that I didn’t have the capacity to hold any more than what was already there. He knew that I was better than this and that I needed a healthy way out. God’s instructions were simple: “Every directive that I give you, do it and write it down. Write out every detail of the directive and every detail of your process”. So I did. At the end of that 3 day conference I had written a 75 page book (so far). Every 15 minute break, every 1 hour lunch, and every evening and night of the conference was spent thinking, feeling, understanding, and writing. And while those three days were productive, the detox process did not end there. It was a constant process that unknowingly began in 2020. He even revealed the significance of 2020, which was the focal point of my 4HOPE Haven launch: Hindsight is 20/20. God told me that when I look back over this process (hindsight) I will see clearly why I had to endure it. And I did. The purpose for that 2 year experience was so that I could share it with you.

My testimony is meant to be the answer to someone’s prayer. Someone who is looking for a way out of the toxic relationship, toxic behavior, toxic decision making process, or even looking for a way to change from their toxic self. Whatever your reason, you will find your answer in UNDOING: Spiritual Detox.

I will disclaim that this journal is not for the weak. It will cause you to take a hard look within yourself and accept full responsibility for your decision to accept the dysfunction. I am not a big fan of the word “toxicity”, but the reality is that it is real. This process may not work in the exact same way for you as it did for me, but I guarantee you that it will work. God will direct you in your process, if you are truly willing to do the work. Before any work is started, the book starts with prayer. To get the results that you desire, you will need God’s full attention to help guide you. To guide you through the cleansing of your inner self of any impurities and toxins to your mind, body, and spirit…To undo the damage to your mind, body, and spirit… To strengthen the connection between your mind, body, and spirit… To renew your mind, refresh your body, and revive your heart in God. Part of the prayer says, “God, as I detoxify and experience this process of undoing, I ask that you refill me with your Word so that I can see myself as you see me, see the world as you see the world, and love myself as you love me”.

None of that involves toxic vision, its all 20/20. So, let’s get to it! You can always reach out to me if you need me, because we are in this together!

If you would like to purchase the UNDOING: Spiritual Detox Interactive Journal, please click on the link below: